The F-Word We’re Afraid To Say

WHY ARE WE SO SCARED OF THE WORD “FEMINIST”?

There’s a strange, bitter irony in the fact that a word created to describe the fight for equality has become, in many circles, an insult. “Feminist”, a term rooted in justice, dignity, and human rights, is now rolled out with an eye-roll, a scoff, a dismissive “oh gosh, here we go again.” And what’s worse? Even people who believe in equality sometimes flinch at it. Sometimes even i flinch at it.
This blog began with “oppressed women in Greek society”, all those ancient voices echoing a world in which women were property, pawns, wombs. I’ve always considered myself someone who advocates for women’s rights, someone passionate about exposing inequality, someone who – without hesitation – would say yes, of course, I’m a feminist.
But then something recently jolted me. It started with a song.

I was telling my dad to listen to Labour by Paris Paloma – specifically around 3:20. The layering, the rise, the emotional punch of that section gives me goosebumps every time. It’s a raw crescendo of centuries of female frustration. But as he listened, he laughed a little and said something along the lines of, “God, the lyrics are so dramatic.” And for a second, embarrassingly, I agreed. The line “24/7 baby machine” and others too did feel extreme. It sounds exaggerated and theatrical, like women are trying to make themselves victims. And then I stopped and asked myself why it felt dramatic to me?

Because I am lucky. Because I live in a context where I am not forced into childbirth. I have access to education. I can apply for jobs without being automatically dismissed because of my sex. I can speak, write, study, and think freely. I have the luxury of brushing off lyrics like that as “too much.”
There are women, millions of them, for whom that lyric is not metaphor, but reality.
That’s when the TikTok I saw earlier this morning hit. A video claiming “women are the most oppressed group in the world,” followed by brutal statistics:

• 1 in 3 women worldwide experience sexual violence.
• Every 3 hours, a woman in South Africa is killed.
• 90% of people globally hold biases against women.
• 1 in 4 women in the US experience domestic violence.

If you live in a privileged bubble, and many of us do, it’s easy to scroll past and mutter, “Oh, here we go again.” To assume the conversation is exaggerated, outdated, unnecessary. But that’s not because feminism is irrelevant. It’s because we are fortunate enough to think it is.

The Privilege Problem

In my philosophy class, we’ve been studying gender and society. Naturally, feminism comes up a lot. And yes, progress has been made. Women can vote, study, work, own property, divorce. In many Western countries, women have legal equality. But cultural equality? Social equality? Safety? Respect? Not remotely universal.
People in my position – comfortable, educated, safe – can fall into a kind of tunnel vision. We see our situation and assume it reflects the world. We begin to believe feminism has “gone too far,” that women now “complain too much,” that talking about oppression is melodramatic. But feminism isn’t about our comfort, it’s about global reality. When someone says “I don’t call myself a feminist because things are fine now,” what they’re really saying is: things are fine for me.

So Why Do People Hate the Word “Feminist”?

Ask a boy – and sorry boys, but we’ve all heard it – “Are you a feminist?” and how often do you get:
“No, feminism is about women being superior.”
“It’s gone too far.”
“Feminists are extremists.”
“It’s all drama.”
The term has been twisted, mocked, weaponised. Feminism gets treated as a joke, a tantrum, something hysterical. People imagine angry women burning bras, screaming about hating men, demanding dominance rather than equality.
The tragedy is that this misconception is so loud that even people who agree with feminist principles reject the label. Even women who write about female oppression (think of Virginia Woolf) resisted the term. Not because they didn’t believe in equality, but because the label itself had been loaded with stereotypes.
Maybe the question isn’t “Why don’t people want to be feminists?” Maybe it’s: Why does a belief in equality need a label in the first place?
We don’t call someone who treats people of different races with respect a “race supporter”- we just call them decent.
So shouldn’t believing women are equal simply be… normal?

The Original Feminist Aim Was Never Superiority

Some people genuinely think that feminism is about flipping the hierarchy, about putting women above men. They see isolated stories of women lying about abuse or exploiting systems and say, “See? Feminism is toxic.”
But every movement has extremists. Every system has people who abuse it. That’s not feminism- that’s humanity. Feminism, at its core, was never about dominance.
It was about dignity.
About women not being owned.
Not being silenced.
Not being beaten, traded, raped, or forced.
Not being treated as wombs, servants, or accessories.
It was, and still is, about equality.

The problem is that in some places, like where I live, equality feels close enough that people assume the mission is complete. But equality that exists in one household, one city, one country does not erase global inequality. It just makes us blind to it.

The Global Reality: Feminism is Still Desperately Needed

Right now, as we sit comfortably scrolling Instagram, reading this blog, or moaning about our homework, women across the world are:

• Married as children.
• Denied education.
• Forced into childbirth.
• Murdered for “dishonouring” families.
• Barred from working.
• Trafficked.
• Silenced.

Entire governments legislate against women’s autonomy. Girls are shot for going to school. Women are jailed for reporting rape. Basic safety – the right to walk home at night – is not universal, not even close. So when someone scoffs “Feminists are so dramatic,” maybe the issue isn’t that feminism is dramatic. Maybe the issue is that we are desensitized.

The Stigma Silences the Very People Who Need to Speak

Here’s the most dangerous part of the feminist stigma: it makes women afraid to advocate for themselves. If “feminist” becomes synonymous with “overreacting,” then every woman who speaks out risks being dismissed. If “feminist” becomes “man-hater,” then every woman who asks for fairness risks being mocked. If “feminist” becomes “dramatic,” then the suffering of millions becomes background noise – something we sigh at, mute, scroll past.

So What Do We Do With the Word Now?

We reclaim it. We strip away the mockery, the misunderstanding, the fear. We remind people (and ourselves like I am doing right now writing this blog) that feminism is simply the belief that women deserve equal rights, equal safety, equal opportunity, equal humanity. Not superiority. Not revenge. Not domination. Just equality.
And if you already have that where you live, cherish it. But don’t let privilege turn into blindness. Don’t let comfort become apathy. Because the benefits we enjoy were not handed to us – women fought, wrote, protested, marched, were imprisoned, exiled, ostracised, and killed to build the world we now benefit from. The least we can do is not roll our eyes at the word that carried that fight.

Next Time You Hear “Feminist”…

Don’t look down on it, don’t mock it, don’t distance yourself from it just to seem “chill” or “neutral”. Instead, remember:
You have the privilege to treat feminism like an opinion. For millions of women, feminism is survival. And if believing in their right to exist safely, freely, equally makes me a feminist? Then I’ll wear the word proudly. Even if it makes some people uncomfortable. Especially if it does.